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The Problem with Large Group RPs
Mar. 19th, 2023 03:22 amOkay, so we're not exactly a large Rp. We're what? 7? not even that. I think it's 5 now. Lyric, aka Waldo player is on extended hiatus. but still. We've been together since December 2020. I am being vague because to be honest I don't know if it formed before or after the reboot began on Hulu. I will know later today which it was.
We've had several people, myself included, come and go over the course of time, and some of those transitions have been harder than others. It's no secret that the loss of our Yakko Player has been the hardest on me by far. Especially due to the fact that she's refused to give up control of Yakko. I know what you're probably thinking. "She's not in the RP anymore. Why does she get to control who plays Yakko? Here is the thing. By all counts? She doesn't. And shouldn't. But. Because of my strong emotional ties with her Yakko in not just the group RP, but the PSL I did with her playing Yakko, it's been hard for me to move on without her blessing, and that's just not something she wants to give.
But that's beating a dead horse, and I don't want talk about that. Tonight/today, I'm talking about how to handle long term conflict in a group that's more like family than friends after 2 years.
Just like with any group of friends, you can expect that you'll have some kind of conflict in an RP group. In fact, I'd guess it's even more likely to happen because in an Rp, you're not just with friends, you're with creative types, and we creative types are known to be very possessive our methods and creativity. and let me tell you. With this group? That is SO SO much the case.
First there is me, Shane, and Brayan. THe three of us are extremely story driven. I am very dark plot oriented as long as i get some hurt/comfort at the end, and usually, Brayan and Shane will deliver. (Oh. I guess I've never used their real names before. So let me clarify. Shane plays Wrekko, Fuzzball, Ace, and is currently playing Wordsworth to help me quench my need for a Catillac Cats Rp. Brayan plays Ruegger, Makko, Mama Abby, and is currently playing our alternate Yakko. Don't ask). The three of us are the ones responsible for the hit that was the first 84 Saga, that created Ruegger, Wrekko, and Ace, and Makko, of and that little shit, Fuzzball. We all play so well together when we can all plot together.
Then there is joe and Nick. Joe and Nick are great RPers, but their refusal to give a little when it comes to the larger plots sometimes feels like a detriment to three of us, but mostly to Shane and Brayan. Lately, though, I've been feeling it with Nick, and getting more and more pissed off. But not for myself. For Shane. Or for Brayan. Depending on whose plot is being messed up. Lately, because of his schedule, it hasn't been Brayan. Shane, unfortunately has been the target.
But it isn't always stories. It's constant arguing over plot points, fiction vs. reality, and what is and isn't done about a character's actions within an RP. Tonight (last night as it's almost 4am EST here), Nick just would not shut the FUCK up about stuff that had already been settled TWICE. 4 times we had to tell him and Joe to take it to DMs. (They say DMs. I don't know why. I always say IMs, unless i'm on Twitter) . I just about lost it and walked out on admin duties, but Shane, god bless Shane... he talked me down off the ledge.
I know part of my sensitivity and impatience with shit has to do with the fact I am not taking my anxiety or antidepressants right now. It's been a fucking nightmare trying to get those from my primary, so Mom and i are going to try and get me both a new primary and a new mental health team. Because I can't keep living like this. This is nothing to fuck with. But before anyone panics about the sudden loss of my meds. No, I am not feeling suicidal or any of that. I am feeling, however, jumpy, sensitive, and overwhelmed for drama and shit. Which is why dear Shane took over tonight. He, Brayan, and Joe are all aware of my mental health issues and what I am going through, so at least I can say that my RP family is aware of it and aren't doing this to me on purpose.
And that's how you really solve any kind of conflict in RP. You set boundaries. You talk it out. You vent to admins if you need to. You vent among yourselves as fellow admins... (Me, Shane, and Brayan have our own plotting chat where most of 84 was plotted, but now is used for side venting when necessary, as well as an admin chat for deeper issues) .
Oh, and on another note! Brayan gave me some amazing news, you guys. He finally gave me his blessing to put my 84 Fanfics up on AO3!! I've been wanting to put them up there for everyone for a long time, so you'll finally get to meet the 84 Warners! Of course these are the AU versions, but they are closely based on the originals created by Shane and Brayan, and one created by me. <3 I cannot wait to hear what everyone think. I know I've shared bits and pieces over the last year with some of you. Now you will see it in all it's violent glory... lol.
We've had several people, myself included, come and go over the course of time, and some of those transitions have been harder than others. It's no secret that the loss of our Yakko Player has been the hardest on me by far. Especially due to the fact that she's refused to give up control of Yakko. I know what you're probably thinking. "She's not in the RP anymore. Why does she get to control who plays Yakko? Here is the thing. By all counts? She doesn't. And shouldn't. But. Because of my strong emotional ties with her Yakko in not just the group RP, but the PSL I did with her playing Yakko, it's been hard for me to move on without her blessing, and that's just not something she wants to give.
But that's beating a dead horse, and I don't want talk about that. Tonight/today, I'm talking about how to handle long term conflict in a group that's more like family than friends after 2 years.
Just like with any group of friends, you can expect that you'll have some kind of conflict in an RP group. In fact, I'd guess it's even more likely to happen because in an Rp, you're not just with friends, you're with creative types, and we creative types are known to be very possessive our methods and creativity. and let me tell you. With this group? That is SO SO much the case.
First there is me, Shane, and Brayan. THe three of us are extremely story driven. I am very dark plot oriented as long as i get some hurt/comfort at the end, and usually, Brayan and Shane will deliver. (Oh. I guess I've never used their real names before. So let me clarify. Shane plays Wrekko, Fuzzball, Ace, and is currently playing Wordsworth to help me quench my need for a Catillac Cats Rp. Brayan plays Ruegger, Makko, Mama Abby, and is currently playing our alternate Yakko. Don't ask). The three of us are the ones responsible for the hit that was the first 84 Saga, that created Ruegger, Wrekko, and Ace, and Makko, of and that little shit, Fuzzball. We all play so well together when we can all plot together.
Then there is joe and Nick. Joe and Nick are great RPers, but their refusal to give a little when it comes to the larger plots sometimes feels like a detriment to three of us, but mostly to Shane and Brayan. Lately, though, I've been feeling it with Nick, and getting more and more pissed off. But not for myself. For Shane. Or for Brayan. Depending on whose plot is being messed up. Lately, because of his schedule, it hasn't been Brayan. Shane, unfortunately has been the target.
But it isn't always stories. It's constant arguing over plot points, fiction vs. reality, and what is and isn't done about a character's actions within an RP. Tonight (last night as it's almost 4am EST here), Nick just would not shut the FUCK up about stuff that had already been settled TWICE. 4 times we had to tell him and Joe to take it to DMs. (They say DMs. I don't know why. I always say IMs, unless i'm on Twitter) . I just about lost it and walked out on admin duties, but Shane, god bless Shane... he talked me down off the ledge.
I know part of my sensitivity and impatience with shit has to do with the fact I am not taking my anxiety or antidepressants right now. It's been a fucking nightmare trying to get those from my primary, so Mom and i are going to try and get me both a new primary and a new mental health team. Because I can't keep living like this. This is nothing to fuck with. But before anyone panics about the sudden loss of my meds. No, I am not feeling suicidal or any of that. I am feeling, however, jumpy, sensitive, and overwhelmed for drama and shit. Which is why dear Shane took over tonight. He, Brayan, and Joe are all aware of my mental health issues and what I am going through, so at least I can say that my RP family is aware of it and aren't doing this to me on purpose.
And that's how you really solve any kind of conflict in RP. You set boundaries. You talk it out. You vent to admins if you need to. You vent among yourselves as fellow admins... (Me, Shane, and Brayan have our own plotting chat where most of 84 was plotted, but now is used for side venting when necessary, as well as an admin chat for deeper issues) .
Oh, and on another note! Brayan gave me some amazing news, you guys. He finally gave me his blessing to put my 84 Fanfics up on AO3!! I've been wanting to put them up there for everyone for a long time, so you'll finally get to meet the 84 Warners! Of course these are the AU versions, but they are closely based on the originals created by Shane and Brayan, and one created by me. <3 I cannot wait to hear what everyone think. I know I've shared bits and pieces over the last year with some of you. Now you will see it in all it's violent glory... lol.
