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So the holiday season and my birthday are officially over. Now it's time to focus on getting healthy again, and I don't mean just physically. I need to do something to change my mental status, too. My anxiety is through the roof, my depression is really bad again, and the system here in Florida is really not helping any of these things.

But those are my more serious goals. Fun goals this year include a trip to Rochester, and going back out to Los Angeles for YallWest again.

I've gotten myself a new spirit guardian. I couldn't be sure what he was. I just know when he's around. His name? Morpheus. His motives...? Questionable, like Damon's were. But he makes me so happy, and calm. So I guess he's doing his job.

I experienced something interesting on my birthday. Woke up to my room smelling like licorice. I think Morpheus was smoking his hookah in my room. Valerie and I looked up the "claire" for it, and found out that it's clairesentience. Interesting. None of my other muses ever had a specific smell associated with them. Even Simon, who's been around for years.

Speaking of my birthday, I saw the movie The Greatest Showman on my birthday. OMG. I can't stop talking about this movie. For a lot of reasons. The costumes, the music, the story, the music....(I know I said that already.). From the first number I knew that I was going to be playing this soundtrack on repeat for a long time. And I was right. I haven't been able to stop listening to it whenever I've listened to music since.

Val and Lissa finally saw it last night, and i can't wait to really get in depth with them about the characters and cast, and just...ugh. Everything! I am so looking forward to the blu-ray release!

I'm going try and write more in here, but sadly, I've been in phase where I am writing in my offline journal again. I don't know where I get these phases again, but. I guess we'll just have to deal with it together.

also, I am finally reading more in Unhinged, the second book in the Splintered trilogy. I also started the newest John Green book, Turtles All The Way Down. That one is very heavy, and wordy, so I'm reading it a bit slower. But I'm liking it, make no mistake. John is one of those writers that makes me push past my comfort zone. That's one of the main reasons I really like him.

The other book I am reading is Roseblood, written by the same author as The Splintered trilogy. :) I've got other books I really need to be reading, so Roseblood will probably be put on the back burner again until I read the books that are going to be movies. So that will be A Wrinkle in Time, Simon Vs. The Homosapien's Agenda, and I think... Every Day, which I am going to get from the library.
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So in between all the excitement of shopping, I've been reading two very good books. The first one is called Illuminae. It's science fiction novel about two teens who's planet is destroyed and are then caught in the middle of a war.

It is told through files, IMs, and other classified documents. It is like nothing I've ever read before, to be frank, and I am totally hooked. The characters are coming out through the texts and it's really cool because you don't learn the characters in the same way you would in a traditional novel.

You have to rely on the writing and exchanges between the files. Kady reminds me a lot of Cassie Sullivan from the 5th Wave or Tris Prior from the Divergent series. Ezra well, Ezra is definitely Zombie aka Ben Parrish from the 5th Wave. But these are good comparisons because all of those characters were 3 dimensional, and you really learned to care about about them all.

The second book is called Roseblood by AG Howard, author of the Splintered trilogy. It is a re-telling of The Phantom of the Opera, and I gotta admit, it's a little harder to find my groove in this one. I love it, though. I'm glad I'm not rushing to read it. Even if I read it slowly, I have other books I'm reading faster, and I might still make my goal.

Tonight, we went to a birthday party next door, and it was sort of bittersweet. I found out they were moving to Dade City, and that's pretty far for someone who can't drive. Jim did agree to come and get me sometimes if I wanted to hang out or do stuff with his son Beau.

I found out that my copy of Puyo Puyo Tetris shipped from Fingerhut, but not Splatoon 2. Starting to get a little worried. Hoping it ships by Tuesday. I had to order things on Labor Day weekend. Even my Switch got pushed back to being shipped on Tuesday, but that was because someone messaged my seller to try and tell him to send it to New Jersey. What the hell. Thankfully the seller messaged me to verify. And we got it all straightened out.

Time to get ready to go to sleep, and hope I'm feeling better by tomorrow. Can't call anyone at least till Tuesday because of the holiday. Goodnight, everyone!
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I can't stand this anymore. It's been going on too long. The ups and downs, the irrational anger, the pettiness of disappointment. Mecury in Retrograde can go screw off now. I'm done.

This weekend sucked royally for me, and honestly, while most people are rightly complaining about another Monday, I am glad it's here. My week is always 5 days long. Why? Because that's when my routine kicks in. My monotonous week of watching court shows, and TV series.

So yesterday was probably the worst of this. Everything that could go wrong did. My stress level was still keyed up to high levels after Jeanette's visit overnight, and so that really didn't help. I did my chores and then just relaxed. I did some writing on Novlr. (I'll get to that debacle in a minute). I tried chapter 2 of The Chemist and just couldn't do it, so that book is going back to the library. I am glad now that I decided to try it first before pouring money into it.

Then I started Passenger by Alexandra Bracken whom I got to meet very briefly last year at YallWest. I was already a fan of hers from her Darkest Minds series, so we'll see if I like this duology, and will maybe buy it. The first part was interesting. So now we're getting into the story, so I'll have an update on that in a bit. Today it's about Roseblood and Unhinged.

So back to Novlr. On Saturday night, my Scrivener software went up in smoke, giving me errors, and telling me I had to keep reinstalling it. So I went looking for more software to use because I have to start thinking about NaNoWriMo as September rolls in on Friday. I found Novlr from last year, and decided to give it a shot. There are some caveats to this. Novlr costs me 10.00 a month to do. I can do it on my Master Card, but I will wait and see what Scrivener is going to do about my software problem. I heard from them today and they're looking into as I am typing this.

Yesterday continued, and I was finally getting excited about something after my let down with Stephenie Meyer's new book: Disney Channel was showing Descendants 1 and 2 in Sing-a-long format! The first movie played without issues, and I really enjoyed it. :) I discovered a cute little (probably unintentional) nod to BooBoo Stewart's role in the Twilight movies. I never caught it before, so that was kind of fun. :) I discovered also that while i love Jay, Carlos DeVil is probably going to be my new favorite for a while.

When Descendants 2 came on, I went mobile because this is my favorite movie in the series so far. (I am still hoping for a 3rd Descendants movie) When it got to Uma's signature song, "What's My Name?", things started going awry. It was if the synching had messed up. Not sure if they were showing a DVD at Disney, or adigital copy. Either way, it kinda ruined the movie for me after that. Every time a song would come on the same problem repeated itself, so you can see why that was a problem. And it didn't happen with the talking parts. Just the musical numbers. Very frustrating. So what did I do? I went frog hunting.

Since I moved to Florida, I've become a big fan of tree frogs. They're so cute, and easy to take care of. So Daddy and I have been trying to figure out how to keep them alive. Finally figured it out when the last one died from being dried up. :( I'm so sorry, Ninja. You didn't deserve that. But I spent about 30 minutes trying to catch two of the good type of toads. (We've got good and bad toads.) That failed me. And then I failed to catch an actual tree frog. :(

Got back in my room just in time to watch my favorite part of Descendats 2, and thankfully, the audio seemed to have fixed itself. So that was good. Then I called Valerie. I just really needed to hear a voice on the phone at that point.

We were just getting ready to start plotting when Daddy and Mom came home from a party. Daddy had found not one, but 2 tree frogs just outside our doorstep. We caught them, and then I set out to put their proper terrarium together. Then he found 2 others, and caught those for me, too. So now I am the proud owner of four green tree frogs. I decided, appropriately enough, to name them after the Descendants Villain Kids. (VKs from here on). So in a way, Daddy is the one that made things right for me again.
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So frustrated with money these days. So my Google Play allows me to use PayPal, right? I have PayPal set to use my Credit Line instead of my bank account. Stupid PayPal used my bank account, and now I'm -41 again in the damn checking account. It's too late to request a refund from Google. And since they already retracted one fee, I doubt the bank is going to do it again. Things are going to be super tight next month, that's for sure. Any extra money will be used for food only.

My friend Jeanette stayed the night last night. Not sure that's going to happen again for a while. Turns out when we're not crafting, we basically have nothing in common. I was content on my laptop, and she wanted to talk to her fiancee all night. -sigh- Oh well, at least we tried it. I'm sure Howard will be here around 12 or so pick her up because he apparently missed her a lot. (I have a sneaking suspicion it was the other way around, but I'm going to let her tell me it was Howard.)

Still tinkering with an idea for Blake from my Witch School series. I want to write like mini-webisodes for him. But I'm trying not to write anything in the series except the main story in November, so we'll see how that goes. If nothing else, I can finish the atrocity that is the current incarnation of the Roba Fan Novel. I really hate how it's come out, and if I didn't like certain parts of it, I'd scrap the whole damn thing.

Honestly, I might have to go back to the original origin story because it's just not working. Every time I've tried to change Victoria's origins, it ends up in a colossal failure. But that would mean a possible re-write of Snake in the Grass (for Victoria's origin story), Return to Me (for her introduction to Espa and the family), and No Vacancy (for her and Christien's romantic relationship. )I'd count Entrapment except I outright hate that story, and wish I had never come up with it. But it is probably the reason that Wyatt at least was created in the first place. Okay, there is at least one element to the story that I did like, and that was the death of Johanna, Victoria's real world best friend who died protecting her from Marik's yami. But other than that, the crap with Duke, and everything that followed it, I could do without. So maybe a new story dealing with Jo's death, but leaving Duke out of it would be in order.

On the other hand, that is a lot of work to re-work. 14 years worth, and I don't know if I have that in me. I love the Robas, and I love Victoria, but there has to be a point in time where I draw the line. And that just might be it. Still...I really want to rewrite Into the Lion's Den, and make it the dramatic story I know it can be. Now that I've seen 'Phantom' on stage in person, I know what Wyatt would need to do to be the right kind of 'Phantom' for Victoria. I just have been having trouble writing the new origin story, and that's what is holding me up on 'Lion's Den'.

The thing is, I know the endgame of the entire saga. Victoria and Christien do get married, and they end up moving out to Vegas to get away from the carnival, and Victoria takes up professional classical singing ala Sarah Brightman. That certainly doesn't help me now though. -sigh-

In other news, I finally started The Chemist by Stephenie Meyer. Yeah, she actually wrote a new book, and so far, it's boring the every loving crap out of me. I've got two more chapters before I give up on it. So she has two more chances to prove she can pull this off. And I've got two more chances not to be completely disappointed. I'm worried though that I might be negatively biased by Meyer because of the things she's done in regards to her Twilight fans, and just in general, the lack of communication with readers overall. With social media being what it is, you'd think that would make people reach out more, but she has been so reclusive that I really didn't even know about The Chemist until I got an alert from Amazon last week.

My friend [personal profile] lockedgroovementioned that I might not like her anymore because of the many different authors and styles I've read since The Host was released. And all of them were of better quality writing than Stephenie Meyer's earlier work. I still feel like The Host was way better written than the Twilight Saga was. Was it perfect? No. But it was still an improvement in my opinion. She can still spin a story. I've always said that. Now I just wonder if I've grown up, reader wise, and expect more? Hmm.

Anyway, I'll probably have an answer about continuing the book after Chapter 3 by tomorrow. Today after my friends leave, I start Passengers by Alexandra Bracken (one of those said better authors), and I want to read more in Roseblood and Unhinged. Yes, I am reading 4 books, and that's because I am 7 books behind in my Reading Challenge. Time to play major catch up.
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I've been accused by my Daddy C of never living in the real world. That's probably the truest accusation he's ever made to be honest. I never tend to live in reality most of the time. I deal with reality when it breaks into my fantasies. In my head, I don't live in the real world. There's too much terrorism, too much hate, too much...negativity. How is anyone supposed to thrive, feel well, and not be mentally ill in a world that promotes such awful things?

Generally speaking, I know reality from fiction, but I don't care to tell the two apart when my own reality is so wrong, and the world I prefer to live is filled with understanding muses, and characters that don't judge me because I can't do certain things on a schedule. Sometimes they urge me more than push me to finish something, and that's the difference.

Most of you know in my real life what I'm dealing with: My Cerebral Palsy slowly getting worse, my carpal tunnel, and arthritis, and I am pretty damn sure at this point I have gone from pre-diabetic to actual diabetic type 2. (Don't worry, I'm working on taking care of that. It's just not as easy as you'd think. I'm doing the best I can.)

In my own world, I battle with other things. crazy perceived musical geniuses, ingenues, and amazing love relationships. Sometimes I'm dealing with seductive moth-winged males, and sometimes, whimsical, but full of heart hat makers. At least that seems to be my reality lately. And why would I want to change any of that, despite probably being considered crazy? If half the inventors of the past and present didn't dream of things on a daily basis, we wouldn't have any of the amazing things we do today!

I'm not saying I'm planning to invent the next best thing. I just think if I don't pretend on a daily basis, I'm miserable, and I also don't get any new story ideas. Two things that I refuse to accept in my life ever again. Whether i'm actively writing down these fantasies or not, they're still there, and I'm not super surprised when some of the concepts seep into my own writing.

Tonight I am planning to finish Splintered by AG Howard and maybe start Unhinged right away. Along with Unhinged, I plan to start Roseblood from the beginning because it's been a while since I read the beginning. Hoping this time I get further in now that it's not a library book. Next up is Dividing Eden by Joelle Charbboneau, and then I read either The Sun is Also A Star by Nicola Yoon or Alex and Eliza by Melissa De L a Cruz.

I like to keep the fandoms coming one right after another. It keeps me from getting bored.
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There's a lot going on besides what's been going on with me and the Nintendo Switch. Here is the biggest of the things on my mind. My brother Daniel may potentially lose his job if he can't find a car. If he loses his job he's going to be out on the street. If that happens, Mom will probably have him, Ashley, and the baby move in here. That will take away my craft room because of course I would give it to Alicia. Baby is obviously more important than any crafts I would do.

They ensure me this is not something I can really help with, but I still worry because he's going to be invading my life again, and there are going to be food fights and everything else. Cal is upset about it because he's made it no secret he never really wanted me to move down here with them. I can understand, honestly. It's not like I Chose to be disabled. I didn't want to be living with my parents forever. But that's just how things are.

In other news, I am 60% of the way through Splintered. Maybe if I read to Chapter fifteen tonight, I can read the last six chapters tomorrow. Morpheus might get some play by tomorrow night if I am diligent about finishing.

My right foot has been acting up again. The pain I was having last December is back. Just what I need. I'll be calling the podiatrist Monday. I was given a referral back in April, but it had cleared up. Now it's back, so I'm going to take care of it now and see what happens.

Well, that's all I"ve got for now. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow.
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Today was a mixed bag. I wasn't feeling well for the most part, and then I had the bright idea of having my friends come over. I love Jeanette and Howard, but my biggest pet peeve with them is that they smoke way too much. They don't do it in the house, but still. What's the point of trying to do anything when you're going to go outside every five minutes to do smoke? Hardly anyway to be productive.

So after they left, I tried to lay down for a bit. But then I realized that my hard cover copies of the Splintered series had come in.

These are just the jackets! Aren't they gorgeous? :) I am so jealous of the author having such a wonderful cover artist. But if I thought the jackets were gorgeous....check out the covers by themselves:

The fourth book is called Untamed, and I didn't take a jacket cover pic of that one, but it's just as gorgeous.

I also watched a live stream of a Miss Crustacean Pageant for hermit crabs today. And I was sickened by the conditions these crabs were made to be in, and I was so glad that we had a representative from the Crab Street Journal there to give out proper care sheets. I was very upset by the whole thing, and will probably never watch one again.

AFter that, I started looking through the tank gently because we aren't supposed to really dig around the substrate when they're down in case they're molting. But what I was looking for was a tunnel, or sign of life that they were okay. I found a tunnel under the same dish I'd found Kit under the other day. That made my night even though I still didn't see a crab tonight.

Carpal tunnel is acting up so I'm going to get off and read. I love you guys, and thanks for reading and commenting. It's nice to know someone out there gives two shits about what I'm thinking about and feeling.
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Debating a name change here. I know, shocking, right? But I've been thinking about this for a long time. I love the Robas, and that is never going to change. I will always love Christoria. I will ship it until I take my last breath. But I am ready to entertain a new interest for a while.

That interest is Alice in Wonderland (or as it's known in the literary world, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking Glass and What She Found There). I still haven't figured out what the journal name will be, but I'll probably buy a renaming token and then change it when I do.

Lately, I've been doing a lot of reading on re-tellings. That is, the novels I'm reading are retellings of classic stories. The first series I read like this was Wicked. I still need to finish it, I'm aware. The next series I read was Dorothy Must Die, and as you've probably guessed, that series is a sort of re-telling of The Wizard of Oz.

Currently, I am reading a re-telling of Alice in WOnderland called the Splintered series by AG Howard. They've made the caterpillar a...psuedo-antagonist. I love him, naturally. His name is Morpheus. You'll probably hear a lot more about him, eventually. Right now, I'm sort of intrigued. And I can't wait to discover more about him, and share with everyone.

My obsession with Wonderland probably began with the Tim Burton movies. No, not probably. I KNOW it began with BUrton's movies. I loved the aspects of the movie that Alice used (though probably unknowingly) whatever conflict was going on in Underland to work through the problems going on in her personal life. This is no more noticable than in the second movie, Through the Looking Glass.

But anyway, I decided that Since I've really gotten into this fandom, I'll probably be switching things up for a bit.

Looking Up

Aug. 9th, 2017 06:23 am
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Things are looking a little better than a few days ago. I've taken charge of my life and started writing down things again. And I've also been proactively looking for opportunities to volunteer or otherwise get out of the house other than my regular Tuesdays at the library.

So yesterday was a GREAT day. That's not sarcasm, folks. I actually had a very decent day. Here is what went down.

I went to coloring club at the library with Jeanette (yes, that Jeanette) and Howard. While I was there, I talked to Ms. Roberta (she likes to be called Bert) about vacation, and everything I've been doing since then. Understand that I haven't been at the library for at least a month. And I know that only a few people there actually have me on Facebook. So everyone was like, "OMG, you're back, are you okay? What's been going on?!" I gotta say... that's all I really needed, guys. I have friends. I really do. I have to MAKE myself get up. I have to MAKE myself FIGHT with everything against the anxiety and depression, and that starts closer to home next week. Next week, I am going to try and go to Bunco if it's still going on up there at the clubhouse. I'll ask Carmen on Tuesday.

But back to yesterday. After talking to Bert, it came to my mind to try and volunteer at the library. Hell, I'm there a lot to begin with. I might as well give back to a place that has become a second home to me. So I talked to her about a position for me in volunteering at the library, and we decided that I could do some things with the kids' programs. :) So when I got home yesterday, I filled out an application for volunteering. So we shall see what happens with that. I am very excited about the possibilities.

Then we went to Bingo. Our neighbor Maggie, and a family friend, Toni, went with us. Mom, Toni, and I all got really close to winning several times, but to no avail. But it was still a fun night. .

I got home and finished another chapter of Splintered. And when i read again today, I'll be reading more about Morpheus. If you have me on Facebook, you'll see that I've talked about him extensively in my updates about Splintered, and on one of my posts, I think I posted his book cover depiction. This guy is just....I can't really explain it, honestly.

This morning, I ordered Untamed in hardcover. I'm going to be ordering the other three Splintered books over the next few months in hard cover. I just want to keep the covers looking pretty. It's the most gorgeous cover art I've seen since the original The Mortal Instruments covers. (PS: Not a big fan of the TV series tie-in novels' covers). My original 3 will be donated to the library. :) So that I can share the love.

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