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The Problem with Being Me
Feb. 17th, 2018 12:07 pmIs that I really don't do well when it comes to finding out bad news about a favorite author or celebrity. For me it's a complicated process. My brain tries hard to find a way to still support their work, and their good qualities while recognizing whatever their transgression was as wrong. This has never been more evident as it is right now. While I have been watching as one by one people that I've grown up with on TV and in movies come out as having done terrible things against women, I thought there was one place this would not happen, and that was in the publishing industry.
This morning I get a message from a good friend about James DashI ner being dropped by his publisher and literary agent amid allegations of sexual misconduct. I google the whole thing, and while I couldn't find anything about what he supposedly did, I do see a twitter post from Dashner himself admitting that he had done something that was inappropriate. In that same post, he acknowledged his wrong doing, and apologized profusely to those that were involved.
I want to support him and encourage his positive steps in righting these wrongs, but I'm aware of how some people will see this as supporting what he did. No. That is not the case. I've been sexually abused in the past, and I won't pretend that he did anything right. But what I will say is that unlike so many of these other individuals, he admitted it, and is seeking help. That is what I wanna support. The fact that only a handful of people really know what happened in this particular case leads me to believe that if it were anything major he would have been promptly arrested. Maybe that's wrong thinking, but that's just my belief.
Mostly right now what I am feeling is betrayed. Not necessarily by Dashner, but by the fact that my safety net has been violated by this ugliness. It has left my stomach in knots all day, and I don't know how my friends will take it when they find out that I'm not going to stop reading Dashner's work over this. He's a talented author. He made mistakes. He's been effectively ripped away from his reality for them, so in my eyes he's already suffered. This is just my perspective with only having one side of the story. Again, I don't know the details of what he's being accused of. Most of the articles just say sexual harassment, but that could be any number of things. (Both major and minor. I know. I'm not saying any of those things are to be downplayed. Again, I'm not condoning what he did. I'm just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt).
I think in this particular instance, it's harder for me because I met the guy in person, and genuinely had an amazing time with him. He didn't act inappropriately with me, Val, or Lissa, so it's hard for me to picture him doing it at all. He was a lot of fun to be around, and like most authors of Young Adult novels, genuinely seemed to love fanboying over his own work. Which is the part of Dashner I want to remember while he's going through this. To error is human. To own up to it and accept responsibility for is to be a man, and that is what he did.
This morning I get a message from a good friend about James DashI ner being dropped by his publisher and literary agent amid allegations of sexual misconduct. I google the whole thing, and while I couldn't find anything about what he supposedly did, I do see a twitter post from Dashner himself admitting that he had done something that was inappropriate. In that same post, he acknowledged his wrong doing, and apologized profusely to those that were involved.
I want to support him and encourage his positive steps in righting these wrongs, but I'm aware of how some people will see this as supporting what he did. No. That is not the case. I've been sexually abused in the past, and I won't pretend that he did anything right. But what I will say is that unlike so many of these other individuals, he admitted it, and is seeking help. That is what I wanna support. The fact that only a handful of people really know what happened in this particular case leads me to believe that if it were anything major he would have been promptly arrested. Maybe that's wrong thinking, but that's just my belief.
Mostly right now what I am feeling is betrayed. Not necessarily by Dashner, but by the fact that my safety net has been violated by this ugliness. It has left my stomach in knots all day, and I don't know how my friends will take it when they find out that I'm not going to stop reading Dashner's work over this. He's a talented author. He made mistakes. He's been effectively ripped away from his reality for them, so in my eyes he's already suffered. This is just my perspective with only having one side of the story. Again, I don't know the details of what he's being accused of. Most of the articles just say sexual harassment, but that could be any number of things. (Both major and minor. I know. I'm not saying any of those things are to be downplayed. Again, I'm not condoning what he did. I'm just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt).
I think in this particular instance, it's harder for me because I met the guy in person, and genuinely had an amazing time with him. He didn't act inappropriately with me, Val, or Lissa, so it's hard for me to picture him doing it at all. He was a lot of fun to be around, and like most authors of Young Adult novels, genuinely seemed to love fanboying over his own work. Which is the part of Dashner I want to remember while he's going through this. To error is human. To own up to it and accept responsibility for is to be a man, and that is what he did.
