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mad_tea_partyI've been sitting here for the last day and a half. Just...digesting. And processing, and trying to come to grips with what I'm about to write about, and you know what? I still haven't. And it really doesn't help that the people I'm closest to in my real life world don't seem to understand how significant this loss is to me. It's... it's...for me, it's akin to losing an older brother. I say that a lot about fictional characters, I know. The difference here is that the Power Rangers, the original (which I will also always include Adam, Rocky, and Aisha, I'm sorry, but they were part of the original series, so they're included here) were there for me to help me learn to cope with things that my parents didn't know were really going on in real life at school. And one of those "brothers" was Tommy. And now...ugh. The one thing I never expected to be writning about was the loss of the brilliant man who brought Tommy to life for me for so many years.
I'll be the first to admit that Tommy as a character was never my favorite Ranger. He was sexy and as a teen, I always rooted for him and Kimberly's cute little romance in the show. And even wanted to date him, but for the rangers, I always was more partial to Kimberly herself or Adam, once he cam on board. But I never devalued his contribution to the team as a whole and his various sacrifices and trials. So I respected him as a Ranger on that level, and knew the Power Rangers (the Original, I mean) Would never be the same without him and even whe he left the team for a while, it was a strange feeling not seeing him in the opening credits.
But I don't wanna really talk too much about Tommy Oliver. Tommy Oliver is still alive. I can pop in a DVD or turn on Netflix and see him. His actor on the other hand....Jesus....so here is how I found out first and fore most.
I woke up Sunday morning not in the best of moods to begin with. I wasn't feeling well, and I was already feeling like I was gonna have to miss a meeting. I was even rather annoyed with our book club because it had been moved back to 9pm EST for the week even though we'd previously agreed on 8pm. (Brayan, I know you're gonna read this. The only reason I was upset is for the reason I mentioned above. I wasn't feeling well, and had preferred to go to bed earlier so I could rest for Monday. It was jus the timing of it. It was nothing personal, I swear and we're good!)
Anyway, I checked my messages and the next one I saw was from Brayan. He said, "Have you heard the news?" and I said, "No, what is it?" I went about my morning business: Bathroom, giving Teal her medicine, then got back to him.
"Jason David Frank is Dead."
I read it. Reread it. Read it again. "Wait, what the fuck?! Are you fucking serious?" Cue me trying to find any and all information on it. Unfortunjately for me (and fortunately for his family, I guess) the news hadn't picked it up yet, and the was nothing on it anywhere yet on Google. So I asked if he can verify it cause I was flipping my shit, and trying really hard not to lose it before I had solid proof.
I think the first thing he showd me was a tweet from Walter Jones, the original Black Ranger, Zack. Well, honestly, if it was coming from the cast, I can't see them trying to hoax their fans like that. So that was enough confirmation. I fucking lost it you guys, and I haven't really been the same since. I've wept both in small batches and hysterically intermittently since, and even that day, I did not want to go that book club meeting, but only the promise of good discussion compelled me to go.
Monday was worse, y'all, and there are two big reasons why. By Monday morning, the news outlets had picked up the story so now it's all over my news feed and I couldn't escape it. Worse, I have no Power Rangers merchandise (current) to put anywhere to honor his memory or wear. Part of me wants to see if Hot Topic has a Power Rangers logo shirt. That'd be good enoguh for me right now. Anyway. So there it was. It was official. Jason David Frank. The Green Ranger, the Ranger NO ONE could beat, was dead. And the worst part? The cause of death had been made public by those closest to him. Death by suicide. FUCKING SUICIDE!! I HATE THAT FUCKING WORD. I HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! (I did find out the method yesterday but I will spare you that).
So I go to crochet group at Books A Million despite every part of me wanting to say fuck it and go to hell with anything right now. I knew JDF would not want any of us doing that over him, so... anyway. I had a lot of trouble focusing on anything. Eventually I came clean and started to tell my big "sis" what was going on. She's (unfortunately) another one of those who doesn't believe in mourning those you don't know in your personal life... but. I told her anyway cause she knew something was obviously wrong. And that's when the SECOND thing that wwent wrong Monday happened. SHe and I got into it big time. Not over me mourning JDF. Over what color ranger he played. Can you believe that shit? She tried to tell me that JDF was the original red ranger. And that the red ranger killed himself. Um. Where the fuck did she hear that shit? This argument went on for a good 20 minutes, with her telling me she knew what she was talking about b/c her son was obsessed with Power Rangers and had all the toys.
Um. HELLO? I didn't have all the toys cause my parents were, unfortunately the type of parents that were "boys toys for boys, girls toys for girls" (though I used to sneak and play with my brother's transformers and stole his Bumblebee frequently! and his Ninja Turtles, and his Orko from his He-Man toys...lol)so I didn't own any but ONE Power Rangers toy, which was a plush Billy figure, and that got lost in a House Fire, BUT I was obsessed with Power Rangers in it's Hay Day, and I KNEW the cast up and down up until Power Rangers in Space. Don't FUCKING TELL ME WHO JASON DAVID FRANK PLAYED ORIGINALLY. I TRACKED HIS FUCKING APPEARANCES!
I showed her all the casts, and the fact that Austin St. John the original Red Ranger is indeed still alive but in legal trouble. The was, apparently, a red ranger that did kill themselves, but it wasn't Austin! And there was a Power Ranger actor that was sent to prison for murder, but again. Not JDF or Austin! I did show her that JDF was a red Ranger in Zeo. And in the end (cause the argument eventually dropped cause I just finally gave up.... JDF wouldn't have wnated us arguing over something so trivial, and I was honestly still so raw, I was close to tears over it) I think ThAT might have been what her son had been watching and that's what she was remembering. I honestly haven't seen Zeo in many years, but if I remember it correctly, Tommy was the leader in that team, and taht would make sense for her to remember him that way.
So that was number 2. Number 3 came after I got home. I was at home, watching TV, and scrolling, and I came across an Instagram post by Amy Jo. Now a full disclaimer. I've had a weird fan relationship with Amy Jo Johnson since her Power Ranger days, and it's mostly to do with how she used to talk about her time on the show. it seems now that she's come around to it again, and that's helped greatly, and that's good. So anyway. If I was still holding any type of resentment it would have been completely wiped away after yesterday.
This...oh god. Here come the water works again. Amy Jo posted a long live video the night JDF's death was confirmed. Maybe a little for herself, but...you guys. She posted it for US the fans. Asking us if we're okay, and giving us a chance to talk about JDF and our memories of him on the show and stuff. Sadly, I missed the live, but... within the live, she perfomed an acoustic set in Jason's memory. I couldn't make it through the whole video but I've shared it everywhere I could. Because let me say. Given the fact the Jason's death has probably impacted his family, and his Power Rangers family the most, it was so incredibly humbling to have her acknowledge that the fans are hurting right along with them. She even says in the video that they all consider us extended Ranger family, which, I just....wow. I love her for that, and I really do have a whole new respect for her beyond her Pink Ranger role, and I will forever be grateful that random act of compassion towards us.
So....yeah. I will miss you, Jason David Frank. And I'm so sorry for speaking so harshly about my interaction with you back during Otakon.. I didn't know what you were going through. I am truly very honored that I even got to be within inches of you and for just a moment got to be in the same space as the Green Ranger, who inspired me to rise above the haters and those who wanted to take me down. I only wish that the millions of fans you inspired like me that wanted to meet you had gotten the chance to do so.
I'll be the first to admit that Tommy as a character was never my favorite Ranger. He was sexy and as a teen, I always rooted for him and Kimberly's cute little romance in the show. And even wanted to date him, but for the rangers, I always was more partial to Kimberly herself or Adam, once he cam on board. But I never devalued his contribution to the team as a whole and his various sacrifices and trials. So I respected him as a Ranger on that level, and knew the Power Rangers (the Original, I mean) Would never be the same without him and even whe he left the team for a while, it was a strange feeling not seeing him in the opening credits.
But I don't wanna really talk too much about Tommy Oliver. Tommy Oliver is still alive. I can pop in a DVD or turn on Netflix and see him. His actor on the other hand....Jesus....so here is how I found out first and fore most.
I woke up Sunday morning not in the best of moods to begin with. I wasn't feeling well, and I was already feeling like I was gonna have to miss a meeting. I was even rather annoyed with our book club because it had been moved back to 9pm EST for the week even though we'd previously agreed on 8pm. (Brayan, I know you're gonna read this. The only reason I was upset is for the reason I mentioned above. I wasn't feeling well, and had preferred to go to bed earlier so I could rest for Monday. It was jus the timing of it. It was nothing personal, I swear and we're good!)
Anyway, I checked my messages and the next one I saw was from Brayan. He said, "Have you heard the news?" and I said, "No, what is it?" I went about my morning business: Bathroom, giving Teal her medicine, then got back to him.
"Jason David Frank is Dead."
I read it. Reread it. Read it again. "Wait, what the fuck?! Are you fucking serious?" Cue me trying to find any and all information on it. Unfortunjately for me (and fortunately for his family, I guess) the news hadn't picked it up yet, and the was nothing on it anywhere yet on Google. So I asked if he can verify it cause I was flipping my shit, and trying really hard not to lose it before I had solid proof.
I think the first thing he showd me was a tweet from Walter Jones, the original Black Ranger, Zack. Well, honestly, if it was coming from the cast, I can't see them trying to hoax their fans like that. So that was enough confirmation. I fucking lost it you guys, and I haven't really been the same since. I've wept both in small batches and hysterically intermittently since, and even that day, I did not want to go that book club meeting, but only the promise of good discussion compelled me to go.
Monday was worse, y'all, and there are two big reasons why. By Monday morning, the news outlets had picked up the story so now it's all over my news feed and I couldn't escape it. Worse, I have no Power Rangers merchandise (current) to put anywhere to honor his memory or wear. Part of me wants to see if Hot Topic has a Power Rangers logo shirt. That'd be good enoguh for me right now. Anyway. So there it was. It was official. Jason David Frank. The Green Ranger, the Ranger NO ONE could beat, was dead. And the worst part? The cause of death had been made public by those closest to him. Death by suicide. FUCKING SUICIDE!! I HATE THAT FUCKING WORD. I HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! (I did find out the method yesterday but I will spare you that).
So I go to crochet group at Books A Million despite every part of me wanting to say fuck it and go to hell with anything right now. I knew JDF would not want any of us doing that over him, so... anyway. I had a lot of trouble focusing on anything. Eventually I came clean and started to tell my big "sis" what was going on. She's (unfortunately) another one of those who doesn't believe in mourning those you don't know in your personal life... but. I told her anyway cause she knew something was obviously wrong. And that's when the SECOND thing that wwent wrong Monday happened. SHe and I got into it big time. Not over me mourning JDF. Over what color ranger he played. Can you believe that shit? She tried to tell me that JDF was the original red ranger. And that the red ranger killed himself. Um. Where the fuck did she hear that shit? This argument went on for a good 20 minutes, with her telling me she knew what she was talking about b/c her son was obsessed with Power Rangers and had all the toys.
Um. HELLO? I didn't have all the toys cause my parents were, unfortunately the type of parents that were "boys toys for boys, girls toys for girls" (though I used to sneak and play with my brother's transformers and stole his Bumblebee frequently! and his Ninja Turtles, and his Orko from his He-Man toys...lol)so I didn't own any but ONE Power Rangers toy, which was a plush Billy figure, and that got lost in a House Fire, BUT I was obsessed with Power Rangers in it's Hay Day, and I KNEW the cast up and down up until Power Rangers in Space. Don't FUCKING TELL ME WHO JASON DAVID FRANK PLAYED ORIGINALLY. I TRACKED HIS FUCKING APPEARANCES!
I showed her all the casts, and the fact that Austin St. John the original Red Ranger is indeed still alive but in legal trouble. The was, apparently, a red ranger that did kill themselves, but it wasn't Austin! And there was a Power Ranger actor that was sent to prison for murder, but again. Not JDF or Austin! I did show her that JDF was a red Ranger in Zeo. And in the end (cause the argument eventually dropped cause I just finally gave up.... JDF wouldn't have wnated us arguing over something so trivial, and I was honestly still so raw, I was close to tears over it) I think ThAT might have been what her son had been watching and that's what she was remembering. I honestly haven't seen Zeo in many years, but if I remember it correctly, Tommy was the leader in that team, and taht would make sense for her to remember him that way.
So that was number 2. Number 3 came after I got home. I was at home, watching TV, and scrolling, and I came across an Instagram post by Amy Jo. Now a full disclaimer. I've had a weird fan relationship with Amy Jo Johnson since her Power Ranger days, and it's mostly to do with how she used to talk about her time on the show. it seems now that she's come around to it again, and that's helped greatly, and that's good. So anyway. If I was still holding any type of resentment it would have been completely wiped away after yesterday.
This...oh god. Here come the water works again. Amy Jo posted a long live video the night JDF's death was confirmed. Maybe a little for herself, but...you guys. She posted it for US the fans. Asking us if we're okay, and giving us a chance to talk about JDF and our memories of him on the show and stuff. Sadly, I missed the live, but... within the live, she perfomed an acoustic set in Jason's memory. I couldn't make it through the whole video but I've shared it everywhere I could. Because let me say. Given the fact the Jason's death has probably impacted his family, and his Power Rangers family the most, it was so incredibly humbling to have her acknowledge that the fans are hurting right along with them. She even says in the video that they all consider us extended Ranger family, which, I just....wow. I love her for that, and I really do have a whole new respect for her beyond her Pink Ranger role, and I will forever be grateful that random act of compassion towards us.
So....yeah. I will miss you, Jason David Frank. And I'm so sorry for speaking so harshly about my interaction with you back during Otakon.. I didn't know what you were going through. I am truly very honored that I even got to be within inches of you and for just a moment got to be in the same space as the Green Ranger, who inspired me to rise above the haters and those who wanted to take me down. I only wish that the millions of fans you inspired like me that wanted to meet you had gotten the chance to do so.
