Topomax Thoughts

So I've been working on adjusting to this Topomax since the middle of January. For those just tuning in: I've been dealing with terrible chronic migraines for well over 3 years now. It had gotten to a point where the Immitrex wasn't workiing anymore, and the Excederin Migraine was taking way too long to work. (I think this was mostly due to the fact I was having to take it way too often, and my body was getting tolerant of it or something) Anyway, I finally begged my nuerologist to let me try something different. Thus, the Topomax. I'm not gonna lie, folks. This has been a HELL of a ride.

First the good: The migraines are basically non-existent. So the medicine works.

The bad: The incessant side effects. Moodswings. Sleepless nights. Either all-nighters or waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep. Consistent thirst, so up and down all damn night peeing. But last night was probably the worst mood swing night ever. And that's really what I wanted to talk about in detail here today.

So last night, Wrekko's player in the Warner Brothers RP (formerly known as our Animaniacs RP) decided he needed to take a step back from RPing for a while. I suspect a shit ton of it had to do with Joe Adams player, but I can't speak for him, and I don't pretend to get into his business here on the journal. But that was the sense I actually got. But anyway. Usually, when he does that, all is good with me. For some reason last night... I panicked. I didn't want him to take a break. Wrekko player knew this. He's not stupid, and he understands my attachment to Wrekko and Ace. And how I've connected to them in a very spiritual way. But at the same time, I will always support my friends, and I always tell him it's a Me problem, and I will deal with it. Cause I do deal with it. This medicine really doesn't make me the most rational person in the world anymore... and thank gods I have an understanding group of friends in this RP family here.

But anyway. Then, I started thinking about Matthew Perry. I was watching Friends at the time, and some of my favorite episodes with him and his physical comedy and one-liners were on (think Chandler's new roommate Eddie after Joey had moved out), and it suddenly hit me that he'd had all this personal struggle doing the show and indeed didn't even remember doing 3 seasons of it due to those troubles. For some reason....I broke down into tears. Because I can't imagine that show or that time in his life is anything but painful for him to remember, so how can deal with anyone coming up to him and saying "Thank you for the laughs, and thank for being a part of my life" which is surely something I, as one of those individuals, would LOVE to have to the chance to any one of the six of those people. I don't know if he'd understand or comprehend the impact he had, if it hurt him so very much. And that saddened me so much last night, I had to turn the show off. It was such an irrational train of thought, and I have NO idea where the FUCK it came from.

Back to Wrekko player, and Ruegger player: I came back to the chat, and told Wrekko writer what was going in my head, and how I was freaking out irrationally, and do you know that what this amazingly wonderful human being did? He came off his RP break, and brought Wrekko into the Tower. And I started crying all over again. LOL. And I just... I couldn't even with him last night. Truthfully, he didn't have to do that, and I really appreciated that so much. Of course he is gonna see this, because I share RP related entries with the Admins because sometimes I have trouble articulating in the moment. But I also wanted my older firends to see what my current crowd does for me. And yes, Ruegger player has also done this for me on a few occasions when he's been available. (I still wanna charge his school extra rent for stealiing him from me.... LOL. Inside joke between me and him) And Yakko Player and I have played a couple times this week, which has been fun, too! <3