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Everyone who's been my friend for more than a year knows that my favorite time of the year is always NaNoWriMo. It is my time to write original or Fan fiction, and just focus on that. This year, things have been decidedly different, and there have been many factors as to why.
This year as of today, I am sitting at 15,091 words. This is a far cry from where I usually am at this time of the month. But as I said, I've been dealing with a lot of different things. My anxiety has been escalating, my depression is not as bad as it usually is, but still there, I've been sick off and on, and the least of these things was that I had a concert I was looking forward to the second week in November. (More on that later).
Not to mention that my original concept of Witch School has changed. I'm not regretting it, but it is taking me a lot longer to piece it together than when I thought I knew what the story was. I'm still very much in love with the main characters and some of the newer minor characters I've invented. I've even borrowed a character from my friend Aubrie, and she's been a lot of fun to write.
Despite the low word count, I am writing a little bit every day. Whether it's 5 words or 500 words. Writing is writing. and that's probably better than nothing, and honestly, this has been very therapeutic for me to return to something I love, even if I can't focus on it for very long.
So! Let's talk about Imagine Dragons. Back in July, my brother bought me a single ticket to see them in Orlando. I didn't forget about it at all, and in fact, I'm surprised my family hasn't started singing along with their Evolve album because it played on repeat for months. (To be fair, I normally listened to it on my earbuds, and even when I wasn't, my mom was at work and Daddy C was in his room) Anyway. This was the first reason I had for lack of focus, my anxiety and depression aside.
So on November 10, I knew I wasn't going to get any writing done, but I did get 485 words in despite that, before it was atime to get ready for the concert. Getting there was a damn adventure because of traffic, and two accidents. There was more than one shouting match in the car. I had brought my Switch with me, but I didn't play it because I didn't feel right getting distracted by gaming.
I didn't really know what ato expect of the group in concert. I'd seen videos of live performances so I knew that Dan Reynolds and the group could put on a show. I just didn't expect the emotions that came from him speaking. I don't usually DO speeches. But Dan has always spoken about issues that actually effected me to a degree, mainly mental illness. He did a couple of these, too. First as an intro after the initial song which was "I Don't KNow Why". This one was about the recent shooting in Vegas. And to be perfectly honest, it was like he was talking directly to me because more than once since that particular shooting, I had been having anxiety attacks about going into Orlando to this place I had never been, and having something like that happen. But it was amazing to just be there and realize that probably most of us had been feeling the same way, and yet, we banded together to go and enjoy the music of this positive band. The song that followed was a song that I had loved for a long time, but after that speech, it's meaning changed for me. Even now.
The next speech he gave was prior to the song "Demons", and it was actually something I kinda knew about. But I Didn't realize the extent of it. Dan Reynolds not only has depression (which is the thing I knew about) but also severe anxiety disorder. He also uses a therapist. His main message was that he was tired of mental health being stigmatized. That mental health shouldn't and isn't something that anyone should be ashamed of. I love how he spoke to the younger generation, but the words could've been spoken directly to me. I've never been ashamed of the mental issues I have. Frustrated, yes. But most of that comes from my stepfather's failure to understand.
The rest of the concert was a mix old and new songs, something I was really very grateful for since I hadn't seen them on their previous tours and was worried I wouldn't get to ever hear any of their previous songs live outside of YouTube. My favorite songs of course were played since they were singles, and they even played one of my favorite songs from Smoke and Mirrors (album 2). I loved how everyone came together in solidarity on a lot of the anthems. And I am proud to say I knew the words to every song.
I have been to several concerts over my life time, but for some reason, this one felt more poignant, and important. Like I *needed* to be there. Like I needed to hear Dan's messages. Like I need to surround myself with people who understand, and appreciate. While I Did have a mild panic attack trying to get to the right seat (Amway Center is HUGE, damn it!) I would do it again in a heartbeat.
I've thought about writing to Dan Reynolds a million times, but it would just be a cookie cutter letter because I can imagine he gets plenty of letters about the same subjects. But after that concert, I feel like I've already paid him back for the services he and the rest of the band provides me daily. I hope they continue to make music and I hope Dan continues to use his celebrity status to spread positive messages of love, acceptance, and understanding. Because in a world that has become marred with so much violence, hate, and intolerance, we desperately need more like him and his group on the airwaves.
This year as of today, I am sitting at 15,091 words. This is a far cry from where I usually am at this time of the month. But as I said, I've been dealing with a lot of different things. My anxiety has been escalating, my depression is not as bad as it usually is, but still there, I've been sick off and on, and the least of these things was that I had a concert I was looking forward to the second week in November. (More on that later).
Not to mention that my original concept of Witch School has changed. I'm not regretting it, but it is taking me a lot longer to piece it together than when I thought I knew what the story was. I'm still very much in love with the main characters and some of the newer minor characters I've invented. I've even borrowed a character from my friend Aubrie, and she's been a lot of fun to write.
Despite the low word count, I am writing a little bit every day. Whether it's 5 words or 500 words. Writing is writing. and that's probably better than nothing, and honestly, this has been very therapeutic for me to return to something I love, even if I can't focus on it for very long.
So! Let's talk about Imagine Dragons. Back in July, my brother bought me a single ticket to see them in Orlando. I didn't forget about it at all, and in fact, I'm surprised my family hasn't started singing along with their Evolve album because it played on repeat for months. (To be fair, I normally listened to it on my earbuds, and even when I wasn't, my mom was at work and Daddy C was in his room) Anyway. This was the first reason I had for lack of focus, my anxiety and depression aside.
So on November 10, I knew I wasn't going to get any writing done, but I did get 485 words in despite that, before it was atime to get ready for the concert. Getting there was a damn adventure because of traffic, and two accidents. There was more than one shouting match in the car. I had brought my Switch with me, but I didn't play it because I didn't feel right getting distracted by gaming.
I didn't really know what ato expect of the group in concert. I'd seen videos of live performances so I knew that Dan Reynolds and the group could put on a show. I just didn't expect the emotions that came from him speaking. I don't usually DO speeches. But Dan has always spoken about issues that actually effected me to a degree, mainly mental illness. He did a couple of these, too. First as an intro after the initial song which was "I Don't KNow Why". This one was about the recent shooting in Vegas. And to be perfectly honest, it was like he was talking directly to me because more than once since that particular shooting, I had been having anxiety attacks about going into Orlando to this place I had never been, and having something like that happen. But it was amazing to just be there and realize that probably most of us had been feeling the same way, and yet, we banded together to go and enjoy the music of this positive band. The song that followed was a song that I had loved for a long time, but after that speech, it's meaning changed for me. Even now.
The next speech he gave was prior to the song "Demons", and it was actually something I kinda knew about. But I Didn't realize the extent of it. Dan Reynolds not only has depression (which is the thing I knew about) but also severe anxiety disorder. He also uses a therapist. His main message was that he was tired of mental health being stigmatized. That mental health shouldn't and isn't something that anyone should be ashamed of. I love how he spoke to the younger generation, but the words could've been spoken directly to me. I've never been ashamed of the mental issues I have. Frustrated, yes. But most of that comes from my stepfather's failure to understand.
The rest of the concert was a mix old and new songs, something I was really very grateful for since I hadn't seen them on their previous tours and was worried I wouldn't get to ever hear any of their previous songs live outside of YouTube. My favorite songs of course were played since they were singles, and they even played one of my favorite songs from Smoke and Mirrors (album 2). I loved how everyone came together in solidarity on a lot of the anthems. And I am proud to say I knew the words to every song.
I have been to several concerts over my life time, but for some reason, this one felt more poignant, and important. Like I *needed* to be there. Like I needed to hear Dan's messages. Like I need to surround myself with people who understand, and appreciate. While I Did have a mild panic attack trying to get to the right seat (Amway Center is HUGE, damn it!) I would do it again in a heartbeat.
I've thought about writing to Dan Reynolds a million times, but it would just be a cookie cutter letter because I can imagine he gets plenty of letters about the same subjects. But after that concert, I feel like I've already paid him back for the services he and the rest of the band provides me daily. I hope they continue to make music and I hope Dan continues to use his celebrity status to spread positive messages of love, acceptance, and understanding. Because in a world that has become marred with so much violence, hate, and intolerance, we desperately need more like him and his group on the airwaves.
